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tomorrow is my birthday! 17. i'm looking forward to it. it's also strange.. i feel like i'm still very young sometimes, but 17 here is almost an adult! school till 12pm and my friends are coming over for lunch and a little afternoon party. (those are my friends from school) and in the evening my best friends will come... friday there is a huge party (prom from another school) in my schooltown and everybody is going soo the real party will be there! hope 17 will be the year of my life. :)
and only 10 days left till spring break!
sorry it's been a while but some things are really exhaust me... hope you enjoy this update and keep february 23th in mind!




please don't leave my side


need a pair of dr martens!



reading is my drug



love leopard prints a lot recently!




love these outfits :)





you problably find this dinosaur childish, but i can't stop laughing when i look at it!




Smoke dances from beeswax lips, hovering before my face like fleeting phantoms. I breathe ghosts. In and out. Nostalgic and quiet and lingering between reality and superstition, present and past, I embody the bodiless with a grace absent from my clumsy little feet. Pen in hand, I map the contours of souls, sketch the intimate landscape of clandestine hearts, and I carry them in a notebook with worn and dog-eared pages, the weight of its immeasurable contents easing the loneliness which ebbs and flows and throbs like an ocean within my ribs. My room is a museum of my heart, filled with books and dried flowers, tea pots and mountains of pillows, musty air thick with incense and imperceptible heartbeats. A sanctuary of Spring’s creativity and Autumn’s fragility, it is the inbetween of seasons, a nest of clover flowers and brittle twigs, that soothes like chamomile on my tender tongue. Clutter manifests a semblance of order in a mind of comets chasing their own tails round and round and round. And I plan to glue a plastic galaxy above my head, glowing like fixated fireflies, and I will create my own constellations, their stories an extension of me. Daydreams drip of tangled limbs like the roots of Cypress trees, thin fingers pointing and lips unabashedly smiling, as words tumble like a meteor shower above our heads. I miss the electricity, the shuddering of my leaves from the breathing breeze of another, the warm caverns created from two bodies pressed close. I miss. And that is why I breathe ghosts and adhere artificial galaxies to my cobwebbed ceiling. That is why I cling to memories and movie tickets. That is why closure evades me like a deer in the thicket and that is why my soul is as old as the moon, the sun, the stars. I breathe ghosts. littlebirds (on xanga)



hahaha

perhaps the universe lies in every direction. perhaps im waiting for it to wash away this black and white vision of mine and illuminate the colorful spectrum seeping under my skin. perhaps im only experiencing a fantasy, merely forgetting the color i used to be. perhaps i shall dive into the stars instead, into my own imagination and live off my perennial dreams. soulcatcherquotes







need to read this for school, love it :)




wild hearts can't be broken


because we're never gonna be as young as we're tonight

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wow. it's been soooo long. just didn't have time to post. hmmm. this weekend was crazy. 2 parties. no sleep. very tired right now. school sucks more and more. some people too. time goes by so fast. it's already 9.17pm again. need to start planning things. shopping today with S, just bought some new clothes from H&M and Zara from spring holiday (going to jamaica) and some new make-up. ooh, yes i have been sick last week and missed two days of school. and monday someone jumped under a train so i was 2 hours late in class. (ate breakfast on my way with some others kids). tomorrow we have relation day. don't know what to expect. friendship, sex, pictures, talking.... it's not even at our school. soo, in 2 weeks it's my birthday. and in 3 weeks and 2 days it's holiday! hmmm looking forward to both. not many other special things to say. sorry... but i'm not really feeling in a good mood to write. actually i'm doing fine. how are you guys? oooh maybe one thing, this weekend a friend of my parents was visiting europe and he asked us to go to australia next christmas! i'm soooo totally in love with the idea of finally going to australia. he has a lot of guest rooms and it would be amazing to celebrate christmas in the sun.
thanks for reading this... sorry for the bad english and stuff. xoxo
comment/recommend if you like the post?





GOOD IDEAS GLOW IN THE DARK.



dancing in the moonlight

There is no dark side of the moon, really. Matter of fact, it’s all dark. — Pink Floyd








give me your lips. give me your love.






 
because the night is young.




i'm chuck bass

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so, i'm not really in the mood to write a lot. right now. but i just wanted to update, it's been a while... time flies. hmmm this week wasn't the best one ever. school sucks. i'm getting sick of all those 'vain' people. and my grades aren't very good as well this moment so my parents are freaking out and i have to do all those extra exercises for chemistry and maths. i'm just not used to study a lot, so this is a difficult period for me. happily i've got some money and i go shopping friday. new shoes and new dress will help me i hope! i really need a new pair dr martens, but my first buy has to be new high heels, for the party saturday! yesss, next weeks are full of parties and stuff! but i promised myself to smoke less so big challenge also. i'm thinking about my future a lot lately. college will be definately in the usa i hope. i want to do something with fashion/art/writing. but yeah, maybe will become a doctor or architect. i'm sooo not ready to decide what to do with my life. the only thing i know is : i want to go the hell away from here! (europe) and i want to study abroad. hmmm maybe i will end up somewhere in california surfing all day long... i dreamt about that a couple of days ago. maybe i will just travel the world. maybe not... life is an adventure right? but i want to end up happy. i really do.
xoxo
enjoy this update. comment/recommend











you can keep me up all night


we are too young to care


once you were my dream, now you're my only nightmare


while you were sleeping



little doll, stay with me







it was late night, but we were wide awake. you asked me for a cigarette then begged me to stay. the scent that you wore sent dirty thoughts to my brain. oh and your smile, it drove me insane. afterward we got lost in a dream, and woke up to find some space in between. why do you keep on running away?



i miss you so much. i dream about you every night. and i see your face when i look outside. i'm getting mad without you.





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first week of school is over. seven to go. usually i don't diet or do something like that. but now i'm feeling more depressed than ever and i almost didn't eat anything this week. hmmm. for my 17th birthday (23 february) my little sister, my mom and me are going to jamaica in the spring break. i'm very excited for it. so it's not a bad thing if i lose some weight. i don't know what to expect there, sun, beach, boys? but also joints and drugs maybe? hope so... ;) soo, you probably noticed that i don't update that much, usually once a week. but i only update if i have collected enough pictures or quotes. i do this also for myself. just put everything i found on a site. it's nice to look back and see all those pictures.
so i love fashion. and this year i'm going to buy only designer clothes (hmmm probably not, but i hope so!). i really want something new from chanel, miu miu, dries van noten, armani and stella mccartney. but yesss, also clothes from h&m, zara and urban outfitters are fine sometimes.... :) hmmm i will need some money!
something about this week. first time S and me had a fight. stupid. (we went togheter to a new school this year). it's just that she's started hanging out with some people that i don't like that much. they're nice, but not for spending the whole day with. normally after school we go home togheter, for a little part because i take the train and she the bus. this week, she always went to the city with those girls for stupid things. okay she asked me to come with them, but i wasn't really in the mood for it. one day alright. two days also. but the whole week, and i means she's always came late home. my parents would freak out (parents = mom, dad is alsmost never home). but i called her friday night and we talked. she's going through some hard stuff. i just gonna be there for her. and she for me. our friendship is actually very special. we're not best friends, but we have the same interests : fashion, movies, boys and music. and we watch the same tv shows! haha i think we will be something like best friends eventually. i miss my other friends a lot this week. after the holiday it's hard. but we will survive, isn't it?
hmmm hope you didn't read all this shit. i'm not good at all in writing english. please forgive me :) imagine you writing in dutch!
recommend/commend this post if you like it.
people think dreams aren't real just because they arent made of matter, of particles. dreams are real. but they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.








fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. fashion is in the sky. in the street. fashion has to do with ideas. the way we live. what is happening. - coco chanel



the most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.







I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it. -Audrey Hepburn



There was the blue sky above her and all those many roses, the ones that gave off the scent of cloves in the rain and the ones that left a trace of lemon on your fingers, the ones that were the color of blood, and those that were as white as clouds. Each one was sweeter than the next and as red as gemstones.














if losing one thing means gaining another, I'd trade it all for your happiness.








xoxo F | | |
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tomorrow school starts again. hmm. feeling depressed already. this holiday was so much fun. saw a lot of friends back and went to crazy parties this week. today is gonna be the last chill day, some friends are coming over tonight, but it's gonna be chill. soo this holiday i became closer with one of my best boyfriends (who also is my ex) and i think i still have feelings for him. but i like him as a friend. it's better now than when we were together. my other best boyfriend is very sick, he has the flu. i saw him on new year's night, at a party. but i miss him already. with my girlfriends, everything is okay haha. did also a lot of shopping and spending my money to superfluous things. whatever. i had so much fun. how where your holidays? ooh, and tomorrow, it's also my mom's birthday. i bought her a bracelet with blue pearls. very nice. but i think she's not gonna like her birthday because my sister and i have to go to school and my father is always working... so it's gonna be a lonely day for her. i hope her friends are gonna visit her. and i think my little sister made a drawing for her. so it will be alright.
anyone who already survived the first day of school of 2011? :)
enjoy this update.




that's the thing about depression: a human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. but depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.









lovers forever




I'm scared of the future. I'm scared of growing up and failing at my life. I'm scared of being old and alone. I'm scared I'm never going to find someone who actually loves me.










recommend if you like this? xoxo | | |
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